You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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