im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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