I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
