I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
