I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
