There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
