I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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