just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
