How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
