are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
