Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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