For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
