Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
