at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
