just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
