Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
