I don't usually arrange sex via text message
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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