Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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