i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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