I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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