She is in my trunk
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
