I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Drunk is not a location!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
