there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
