idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
