Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
