Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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