there's paper in my vomit.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
