Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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