I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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