I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
