My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
