If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
