Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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