New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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