Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
