Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
