why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
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