Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
