I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize