It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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