Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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