I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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