couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
