dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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