my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
