What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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