i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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