i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
