All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize