At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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