she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
