Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize