You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize