ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
