Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
