Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
