I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize