life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
