Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
