Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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