the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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