I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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