well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
