so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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