Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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