Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
